We all want love, but how do we find it? What’s the best way to meet your soulmate? What do you say to them once you do? Honestly, MakeAGif doesn’t have the answers; we have no dating advice to pass out. But that said, we can tell you what NOT to do! There’s plenty of terrible dating advice floating around out there from online gurus, message boards, the media, and possibly your friends. So for both entertainment purposes and for the public good we’ve assembled this list of insane dating advice that could get you killed.
This is a popular technique from male “pick up artists,” where you say something coyly disparaging, maybe a little negative observation about her appearance, to batter down a woman’s self-confidence to such a low point they’re bound to sleep with any creep. So do we have to explain why straight up insulting someone can lead to murder? We estimate 1473 sad guys a year die from a beer bottle to the head after attempting to neg a girl at a bar.
Photoshop Your Online Dating Profile Pics
Photoshopping or otherwise editing your online photos to transform yourself into a supermodel is a very bad idea. How can it end well when you finally go out with someone? Don’t do it, no matter what you look like there’s someone for everyone out there somewhere, someone who loves the way you look…or you know…loves your personality.
Don’t Call or Text Them For [Insert Number of Days Here]
Nobody wants around the clock calls or texts but deliberately cutting off contact for a set period of days is a jerk move. Not only that it’s a dangerous jerk move! It’s also a sure way to infuriate someone and if they meet up with you again, look out!
Women Like A-Holes and Bad Boys
Different from negging in that some guys think it’s a good idea to act like an a-hole to everyone around them thinking it will impress a woman. It won’t, and it can also lead to homicide as you infuriate everybody in your path as you try to get through a date by acting like a psychopath.
Don’t Put Out Until You Have Them Begging For It
Believe it or not, this advice is given to both men and women! Have sex when you feel it’s right for you. Don’t have it after you feel like you’ve emotionally blackmailed a potential mate to the edge of a horny breakdown. You don’t want to play with people like that; it never ends well.
Women Love Unsolicited Dick Pics
No. Just no. We’re not going to elaborate. Just trust us. No. Don’t. Bad!
Be Persistent Even If They Say No
This is real advice given to people. If you’re interested in someone and they say, “No I don’t want to date you,” or they go on one date then say no, just listen and move on. Stalking never ends in love, and remember the name of this article is Insane Dating Advice That Could Get You Killed: what are friends and family going to say at your funeral when you’re shot by the police officer who was called when you decided to “surprise” her at her house?
We see this post as a public service, and we hope that saves many lives. Please share it with someone who could use it, and come on we all know someone, amirite?