It’s that time again. Where we look onwards to “A New Year, A New You,” and set our resolutions for changing our lives in 2016. Celebrities are not immune to self-improvement, goals, and forward-thinking. On December 31st the rich and the famous will be thinking on their resolutions for how they want to change themselves, and since we know celebs inside and out—we’ve got insight into what they want to do with their lives over the coming year. Here’s our list of celebrity New Year’s resolutions.
To be a humbler man. No more self-aggrandizing. Expect to see a new Kanye who never speaks of himself and shuns the spotlight…
We’re just screwing around. That will never happen; he’s actually resolved to finally conquer the Earth and rule it the world as king and emperor with Kim at his side.
Turn on the radio right now and you’ll hear her single Hello five or six times over the course of the next hour. Is that really enough though? Adele’s goal for 2016 is for every radio station, Internet streaming service, and music video channel to play only Adele!
Her resolution is simple: To keep making the haters sorry they ever opened their mouths, and to keep changing the focus of public discourse.
She has no resolutions because she is perfect. Sorry.
You’d think this would be an easy one. Obviously, his 2016 resolution is to be President of the United States. Right? But that’s not it at all. He’s hoping to say something so shocking and ignorant that everybody in the country’s heads will explode, and he’ll be left alone with all of our money.
After her 2015 success with a hit TV show, summer blockbuster, and stand-up special, comedian Amy Schumer is going to have to be focused to make an impact on 2016. And that’s why she’s going big. Her resolution is to end sexism. Completely end it. If anyone can do it, it’s her.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
The Rock wants to diversify his career and try something different this year. In 2016, he hopes to star in a ton of movies where a bunch of stuff blows up. Maybe the films will also have dozens of car crashes where he emerges unscathed from the wreckage to let out a series of quips.
Adam Sandler’s 2016 resolution is to make one good movie. Well, a decent film at least…or….to make a watchable movie….at least to produce one film that won’t give the audience a rage stroke over its awfulness.
We all what Leo’s is. To win an Oscar. Here’s how his resolution goes: “Give me that Oscar. Where’s my Academy Award. Give it to me. Give me my Oscar. Where’s my Oscar. I’m going to win one in 2016. I’m using The Secret to bring one to me with my mind powers. Give me my Oscar.”
Her number one resolution is to never be stuck alone with Kanye again. No more being forced to make conversation with her hubby’s pal because Jay has “an important phone call.” Number two is to release another album so momentous it’ll change the course of human history. And, finally, number three is to send over a fruit basket thanking the MakeaGif staff for that awesome Beyonce post we did.