There’s two Halloweens. The one for children involving candy, and the one for adults involving revealing costumes and too much liquor. Risqué Halloween costumes for hot chicks have become a mainstay of “adult Halloween”, but after decades of classics like provocative nurses and scintillating schoolgirls there’s now a greater variety in sexy outfit a woman can buy to show herself off in. So we compiled these bizarre and supposedly sexy Halloween costume GIFs.
Some of these costumes cross the line from provocative, unique, and clever, to disturbing. Here are ten examples of WTF “sexy” women’s Halloween costumes, all of them real, all of them available to purchase.
Sexy Donald Trump
Sorry. We mean sexy “Donna T. Rumpshaker”, as this costume is cleverly named to avoid the wrath of a certain litigious presidential candidate. Be warned now. If Trump wins the 2016 Presidential race, every girl who wore this costume will be rounded up and sent to the White House to serve in a rotating harem of first ladies. Because after all, what’s hotter to “The Donald” than a sensual lady version of himself?
Sexy Bert and Ernie
Statistically speaking there’s going to be some child out and about still awake on Halloween night who is going to catch a glimpse of two hotties dressed as Bert and Ernie and is going to spend the rest of their lives possessing an erotic relationship to Sesame Street puppets and will never know why. Years later his wife will leave him when she refuses one last time to wear that damn Oscar the Grouch outfit when making love.
We invite you to meet us in the comments section of this article to debate “what is the sexiest fruit?” Obviously the correct answer is “kumquat,” but if watermelons give you an erotic tingle then buy this costume for your girlfriend.
Sexy SpongeBob SquarePants
and Bonus Patrick Star
Now we’re just getting into the first act of a serial killer horror movie where the detective is discovering the still beautiful bodies of the female victims, all dressed as characters from the children’s TV show Spongebob SquarePants. It’s in the final act that the deformed killer reveals he grew up without Nickelodeon or cable and is taking out his frustration about his past on the world by kidnapping pretty girls to play Spongebob with him.
“Yeah, I’m a sexy skunk. Hmmm, baby, I eat grubs, worms, and garbage, and I stink. Yeah, I stink to high heaven, I’m a bad little girl skunk and I want to get my funky smell all over you. MMMMM baby when I’m done with you you’ll have to take a bath in tomato juice.”
Sexy Winnie the Pooh
We’ve never been sure of the gender of any of the inhabitants of the Hundred Acre Forest. Has Winnie the Pooh been a dame this whole time? This costume should come with mace so that the wearer can deal with hundreds of men who will ask her on Halloween night, “Hot costume…so can I see your honey-pot?”
Sexy (ehem) Pooh Emoji
Here’s a different spin on a sexy Pooh costume. We’ll remember 2015 as the year that the pooh emoji became the most popular image in texting. Why not commemorate this important cultural moment with an erotic costume for the ages.
Sexy Pizza Rat
If you missed out on the viral sensation that is “Pizza Rat” take a sec and catch up:
This clip of an NYC rat dragging pizza down into the subway was an instant hit meme. Now it’s a sexy costume for only $89.99. Truly right here and right now is the best time to be alive. We are the greatest generation.
Sexy Troll Doll
There’s a good chance that a significant amount of people reading this were not even born until the late 90s. So if you missed out on the troll doll craze here they are:
Tiny, unproportioned, ugly, naked, plastic troll dolls were beloved by children for a period in the 1990s. The troll craze has been over for almost 20 years now, so why have they returned as a sultry Halloween costume. We have some ideas why this is happening in 2015 with our leading theory having to do with a gypsy curse.
Everybody loves a cartoon fat cat who eats pasta and constantly ridicules his obviously suicidally depressed owner. How can such an amazing concept be improved…what if you wanted to have sex with the cat! Like, what if Garfield was a hot girl with a killer bod? Genius! Garfield 2.0 is coming at you this Halloween.
This is just the tip of the iceberg for the plethora of bizarre, sexy Halloween costumes out there. Are there some notable ones that we missed? Clue us in by letting us know in the comments section below, maybe we can even get another list going.